In 2009 we started XQZT Floral Design in a retail location downtown Tillsonburg. The pictures above are from that first year. Riley and Bronwyn on the pumpkins that they grew that year, Quinn at his first Santa Claus Parade in Tillsonburg, and finally little Miss.Riles outside the first floral cooler that we ever built. I love all of these pictures because it reminds me of where we started and how we have grown as a business and as a family, my kids are the perfect measurement.
Fast forward to 2017, we are now in our third location and in the process of making it the new home of XQZT Floral Design. And here are my kids now, although they have actually grown again since this picture was taken in June.
As our shop has evolved our kids have grown, but from the start they have been a part of XQZT Floral Design. It is a huge challenge being a mother and raising kids in a floral shop, but when I look back I would not change it for the world. That is a lie, there are a few things that I would change.
I have learned a few things from owning a floral shop and raising kids. Being a parent is all trial and error, and there is no manual for it. As parent's I know that we all struggle with is getting information about "how did your day go?" from our kids. Often the answer we get is "fine", like that answer tells us anything and everything all in one. It is the one size fits all answer. I know when I say "fine" it is not by any means "fine", just ask my husband.
This catch all phrase is one I know I have unwillingly passed down to my children, and it can mean anything and again everything. The floral shop taught me a new way to communicate with my kids, to the point where they are actually eager to tell me how their day went and now say to me "ask me how my day went?".
How did we go from a single answer of "fine", to them wanting me to ask how their day went? Simple. We used a rose.
Each day, each child gets asked three questions, "what was your rose today?", "what was your thorn today?", "what is your bud for tomorrow?".
The rose is something good that happened to them or even someone else during the day, or something that they did that they were proud of. It is a moment during the day that they want to share with you. It makes your child think, it makes them open up, and then you actually have a chance to interact and ask more questions.
The thorn is something that happened that they did not like, that made them feel bad, that maybe made someone else feel bad. It can be a part of their day that just did not go right. It allows your child to express frustration, but also provides an avenue for the two of you to work through it constructively. Sometimes there will be no thorns and that is amazing, but on the days that there are, would you not rather know about it so you have a chance to address it?
The bud gives your child a chance to elaborate further by saying what they are excited for, or what is happening the next day. It is a great way to learn about what is happening in your kids classroom, with their friends, with their lives.
I have been using this method for the last three years and it has been a great way to open up communication between my kids and I. It gives us a chance to connect one on one as each child takes a turn telling me about their day, and I get a glimpse of what is happening in their lives.
Running a floral shop is often just that, running, and taking the time to listen can be hard, especially when you get the one size fits all answer day after day. Using the rose has been a great tool to have in my belt and I hope it may work for you too.
And here you thought roses were just a pretty flower, who knew they could also be a pathway to creating great communication.
What was your rose today?
What was your thorn today?
What is your bud for tomorrow?
Mandy Babbey has a drive to educate individuals on the world of floral design through what she calls a floracation. By offering classes, as well as public and private speaking engagements, she hopes to expand the floral industry into each and every ones homes by sharing her passion for flowers.